


Under My Roof... the Rules Flew Out the Window

by strider_heichou_booty



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Age Difference, Alpha Timeline, Anxiety, Babysitting, Dom John, M/M, Sub Dirk, because Dirk is like 18, but like not babysitting at the same time, johndirk, who the fuck cares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-08
Updated: 2016-05-08
Packaged: 2018-06-07 04:27:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6785167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strider_heichou_booty/pseuds/strider_heichou_booty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's not quite a babysitting job when your mindee is better at taking care of himself and your home than you ever were, and he's kind of an undiscovered genius with a pretty nice ass.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Under My Roof... the Rules Flew Out the Window

"Wow John, you're way slower than I remember, " your best friend taunted back at you as he dashed on ahead, a single bead of sweat gliding down the side of his face. "Weren't you the one on the soccer team back in high school?"  
"Lay off!" you huffed, arms pumping with excessive effort to try keep up. For a guy who ate half his weight in junkfood everyday and barely ever worked out, Dave sure had stamina. He always was a string bean as your dad used to call his odd proportions - skinny, tall and awkwardly lanky.  
"Pssh, no shitty comeback even? Hell you've lost your game Egbert. That out of breath you sound like an old mutt with asthma and a dog pacemaker. Heaving away like your lungs are gonna explode like one of the marionettes in Team America: World Police. Spoilers for that if you haven't seen it, sorry not sorry. But in seriousness, we've only been running, what? Four blocks? You used to fly on ahead of me like Sonic the fucking Hedgehog while I was left getting grit in my nose that you'd kick up. Like the asshat you are. But now how the tables have turned, by my godly hands nonetheless. Thirteen year old me was a prophet in making my Chumhandle, it almost matches this here stickle," with only half a moment's breather, the blond continued to babble to the point you just groaned and blocked him out, maintaining a steady sprint. You dared to glance ahead of the nonsense-maker of a mouth your Strider companion owned to see his apartment block was coming into view. Filled with a newfound determination, you pressed on and willed your tired legs to carry on despite their non-verbal complaints. Just a bit further until you could brave your way up the endless flight of stairs. Just a bit further before Dave would open the apartment door. Just a bit further then your behind could strut right in and comfortably wedge itself against the backrest of Dave's futon...  
Until twenty minutes ago that is. Having just dominated the last step of the stairwell, you let out a soft whoop of triumph and doubled forward in place to clasp your palms over your knees. Expecting to see your best friend jingling a pair of keys at you while chortling, you were mildly puzzled by his frame frozen in place just a few metres away. With your head cocked roughly 45º to the right, you straightened up and dragged your heels past the slight alcove in the wall that obscured some or your vision to find out what exactly had THE Dave Strider so petrified.  
"He's early," he muttered barely above a whisper.  
"... who?" you asked, breath just about regained. A swift nod directed your line of vision towards the male slouching against the wall beside your intended destination with earphones in, tapping away on his phone raised to chest height. This guy was of similar slim build to Dave, only more compact and a tad better filled out in the hips and chest. Hair borderline passable as natural blonde, he wore it spiked up at the back and faintly more to one side than the other, with his fringe swooping to that same right over his exceedingly pale forehead. He had medium length locks rather than sideburns, and much like Dave his eyebrows were considerably darker than his actual hair. Perched on a freckled nose and cheeks to hide his eyes were an unusual pair of pitch black acrylic shades, cut in the shape of dual triangles. The outfit adoring his body looked pretty... thrown-together for lack of a better word. Orange Adidas hightops, black drainpipe jeans, white undershirt and a zip-up hoodie of a kind of pink shade of purple. The sleeves being pushed up to mid forearm revealed the young man's freckles were lightly peppered all over him.  
"Dirk," the guy glanced up from his phone at the sound of your best friend calling out his name. Following a few seconds of processing, the younger blond pulled out an earbud and set about hauling one of the three suit cases pooling by his feet into his arms.  
"Dirk? Why do I know that n-"  
"I've been standing here for the last hour so can we continue the pleasantries and introductions inside maybe? Once I've emptied my bladder after my three times serially delayed flight from New York? Sitting down maybe? With a glass of water? Or orange juice, to boost my blood sugar that tiny bit more so I don't collapse? Because that's sounding so good to me right now. No rush or anything though," the now shortest male cut across you with a direct but flat tone, visually bored and disinterested. You gathered that he was supposed to be staying with Dave, and that's why the elder blond dragged you over in the first place. Probably to help clean up last minute considering his apartment was never anything less than a pigsty.  
"Pssh you basically read my mind, I was just thinking that like let's head in. Right now. Go a bit wild up in this," he finally swallowed his pride and spoke up, but his speech was a tad fast to actually be passed off as calm. Here goes who's never been a smooth guy.  
"... right," Dirk dragged out the vowel in the word before facing the door. Ouch. Rolling his shoulders quickly, Dave mooched closer while rummaging through his jeans pockets to retrieve his keys.  
"The door's a lil fucked, one sec," he announced a bit louder than needed. Jamming the key into the lock, he attempted a total of four times to force a turn, jiggling it frantically nearer the last one. From your perspective, this would seem quite comical - little Strider onlooks disapprovingly as big Strider nearly rips out a door handle - if Dave weren't your best friend. Hell, it was comical but you had to pity the guy. A few mutters and a foot on the doorframe later, a small click echoed from the murder site of Dave Strider's dignity.  
"Now," he cleared his throat. "Mi casa es tu casa."  
"..." Dirk visibly flinched once the apartment's innards were revealed. You couldn't tell if it was from Dave's terrible Spanish pronunciation or the pungent layer-upon-layer-of-three-week-old-pizza-boxes, but the boy was not impressed - and you just had the back view. Dave's chest was rising and falling notably faster than his usual, neck muscles tensing and easing unevenly. An awkward tick later, Dirk reluctantly sidled inside. Both you and Dave sighed in momentary believe, having not realized either of you were holding your breath. He beckoned you closer to follow the youngest into the mother of all messes. With all occupants accounted for, the tallest hauled in his sibling's remaining luggage then pulled the door closed... and a sudden tension fell over the the room.  The leaky sink only amplified this, as it's "drip drop drip drop" morphed to more of a "slip up slip up".  
"... where am I sleeping?" Dirk spoke up quietly.  
"Wherever you want, bro."  
"Don't," with that, the youngest male made a beeline for the only bedroom with his main bag scooped up in his arms.  
"... fuuuuuuuck," Dave collapsed right into the futon the moment the bedroom door bumped shut.  
"Irritable is one thing, but that was plain rude," you ran a hand through your hair, the other on your hip. This was going to be a long day...

**Author's Note:**

> This account has been kind of dead for the last while so take this snippet I've been working on and keep it. I'll be updating my Strider works very soon; this year with state exams has just been so stressful but they'll be done in June, I'll have more time to work on my writing then. Thank you guys for being patient with me ♡


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